(Disclaimer: This post is not intended to offend; it is more of a vent on my part. Please feel free to comment with your perspective if it differs from my own...or even if it doesn't)
So, I have been irked a few times lately by a particular comment. For some reason, when I hear moms who stay at home say, "I am a full time mom," it really gets under my skin. Well, not really for some reason...for this reason: So am I.
I am not a part time mother because I work outside the home. I am very much a full time mom. Sometimes, I think I am a crazy full time mom, because, as SAHMs know very well, when you add up taking care of your little one(s), taking care of your home, and other responsibilities, you wind up having little time for YOU. That is equally true for me regarding working outside the home. I don't view work as "me" time. In fact, it is, in my opinion, anything but.
I want to be clear. I am not suggesting that one is better than the other. Both are perfectly wonderful options, and I think that each family makes the decision that is right for them (which can, and often does, change at different times).
I want to give the women who make that comment the benefit of the doubt. I want to be able to say that they don't mean to imply that moms who work outside the home aren't full-time moms. But I don't know. Perhaps there are some out there who truly do mean to imply just that.
I'd like to think that, as moms, we could recognize that whether we work at home or outside the home, we are all both working mothers and full time moms.
So, I have been irked a few times lately by a particular comment. For some reason, when I hear moms who stay at home say, "I am a full time mom," it really gets under my skin. Well, not really for some reason...for this reason: So am I.
I am not a part time mother because I work outside the home. I am very much a full time mom. Sometimes, I think I am a crazy full time mom, because, as SAHMs know very well, when you add up taking care of your little one(s), taking care of your home, and other responsibilities, you wind up having little time for YOU. That is equally true for me regarding working outside the home. I don't view work as "me" time. In fact, it is, in my opinion, anything but.
I want to be clear. I am not suggesting that one is better than the other. Both are perfectly wonderful options, and I think that each family makes the decision that is right for them (which can, and often does, change at different times).
I want to give the women who make that comment the benefit of the doubt. I want to be able to say that they don't mean to imply that moms who work outside the home aren't full-time moms. But I don't know. Perhaps there are some out there who truly do mean to imply just that.
I'd like to think that, as moms, we could recognize that whether we work at home or outside the home, we are all both working mothers and full time moms.
The little one to whom I am a full time mom
This past weekend he LOVED climbing, playing, & rocking in this rocking chair that was my grandfather's.
9 comments:
I understand your soapbox! I think to give SAHM's the benefit of the doubt...saying you're a SAHM is really the best way to say, "I don't work for money anymore". Because we definitely still work, just like "working" moms do. Keep up the good work!!
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I agree 100% about your soapbox we are all full time parents.
Visiting you for ICLW (last time was to return your comment) :)
Even though I do not have children yet. I agree 100% with your post. My one good friend who has children worries about this sometimes. I said to her, "You are a mom every minute of everyday, having a job does not make you any less of a mom."
Keep up the excellent work.
Amen! Neither type of mom should judge and respect that we all have to make different decisions based on our own family situation.
I think whatever you do you always wonder if you are doing the right thing... I stay home and worry if I should be working. Other moms that I know that work are afraid they should be staying home. Either way, we are all moms... FULL TIME.
Your soapbox is definitely a great place to be! You're absolutely right.. I think if you want to say that you're a SAHM, then say THAT. TO suggest that all moms are anything BUT full time moms is just ridiculous. I hope someone learned a lesson from that post!
ICLW
All moms are full time. I always wonder if we made the right decisions financially since I will have to work outside the home but you are right we make the right choices for us at different times.
I am totally with you on this issue! I have done both and they are both hard, but working full time is definitely much harder! I am fortunate enough right now that I am working part-time (9-12) while the girls are preschool and then we get to spend the afternoons together! It is the best of both worlds for me!
Even though I work, I never thought that SAHMs who say they are full time moms mean to say that WOHMs are not full time moms, just that they do not have a paid job. I totally see your point, though, and from some of the comments I've seen on a message board I read sometimes, there are some mothers on both ends of the spectrum who are self-righteous and go out of their way to slight others, which is unfortunate. We are all doing the best we can for our families. I also wanted to comment on the picture of your DS in this post -- he is adorable, and mine has that same outfit.
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