Not out of the woods yet...

So, my strong performance on day one of daycare has not really been repeated since. I generally do okay in the mornings when I either drop him off or leave him at home with Nick to drop him off, but I fade quickly as the day goes by. Tuesday I had a mini-breakdown at work around lunchtime and a major breakdown on the phone with my friend, Deanna, that night. Yesterday, I had a full out crying episode at work and also last night. Who knew it would be so hard to be away from the little guy? It is so weird...even up until probably the weekend before, I was totally okay with everything. All of our married life, I had planned to be a working mom. I guess it is just different when it is reality. It isn't that I don't think it can be done, or even that I can do it; it is more that I just ache when I am away from him.

Some of my friends say that they have a hard time with daycare because it feels impersonal, the toys are ragged or "used" looking, etc. That isn't my issue at all. I know that when he is there he is happy and well cared for. My issue is that I just want to be with him. It is also funny how difficult it is for me to be passionate about things at work now. Somehow, those things just don't seem as important as they once were.

On the flip side, Carter seems to be doing incredibly well. His teacher told Nick that he is much more happy and less fussy than most of the babies they have during their first week. A friend that I work with (who has a son a week older than Carter, who will be in daycare with him) went by there yesterday and said Carter was on a play mat batting at the toys and talking--that he looked content and happy.

My friend, Christina, who has twins a few weeks older than Carter and also works, posted a comment to my last entry that said some days are better than others. I think that couldn't be more true. Today, I feel okay, at least for now. Who knows, by lunch time, I could be dissolved into a fit of tears. Hopefully not, but you never know. I find that I am also having a hard time because by the time I get home at night, I feel like there is so little time to do anything. Not to mention that the only thing I WANT to do is spend time with Carter.

I think that of all of this, the thing that makes me thank God the most is that I realize how precious a gift that Carter--and motherhood--is.

Getting Ready for Christmas!

Back to Work and off to Daycare!!!

With Ms. Deanna on my first day of daycare

Today was my first day back at work, and I have to say, it went fairly well. I had to get up a little earlier than usual since I was adding a few steps to my morning routine, so I must admit that I am a little more tired than usual tonight.

Nick and I both took Carter to his first day of "school" (read: daycare). Thanks to Nick for indulging me on this...I am sure there was probably no reason that we both needed to go, but I appreciated the moral support. I actually made it through the drop off with NO tears! Don't get me wrong, I cried all day on Sunday thinking about it! He was smiling right before we left, so that helped me do well, I think.

I called around lunchtime to check on him and his teacher said he was doing great! When I went to pick him up, he was fussing a little bit while one of the teachers was holding him, but when I started talking to him, he immediately jerked his head up to look for me. What a nice treat after being away from him all day! Once I got him home and fed him, he definitely wanted to love on his mom and dad for a little bit. After that he totally cashed out in his swing...worn out from his day at school and content to be home!

(make sure to scroll down--I did two posts today and I would hate for you to miss the cute pictures in the other post!)

Cashed out in my swing after my first day of school

Flirting with Haley

These pictures were entirely too cute not to share! About a week and a half ago, we went over to the Gilroys' house for dinner and to hang out a bit. Carter was fussing for a little bit of attention and was also a little warm since he was already in his PJs, so Haley volunteered to entertain him for a little while. He was obviously not only entertained, but quite tickled!

Carter was just giving Haley a little practice before she and James went to her hometown for Thanksgiving. Her sister just had a little baby girl not even two weeks ago!

Thanksgiving for three!

Before and After pics of the turkey

Carter helping Dad with the turkey, loving on Mom, and sitting down for dinner

The Willis family celebrated Thanksgiving as a threesome for the first time yesterday! We decided that since I am going back to work on Monday, we would stay in Indianapolis for Thanksgiving rather than traveling back to Alabama. Given the fact that our families have Thanksgiving traditions of their own, as well as other obligations; that meant that we enjoyed a quiet Thanksgiving day and meal all by ourselves. It was a wonderful day--even if it was a little too cold for my taste!

Nick, our resident Big Green Egg grilling expert, smoked a turkey for our Thanksgiving feast. If you have never been privileged to experience Nick's cooking on the "Egg," his food is really fantastic. The turkey was wonderful...it was incredibly moist, and we have plenty to enjoy as leftovers, too! Carter even decided to wake up (early!) from a nap just as we were serving our plates so that he could join us at our Thanksgiving meal. He was too funny...it was as though he knew it was a family event and didn't want to be left out. He just sat with us at the table in his bouncy seat and smiled and cooed.

We truly have so many blessings to be thankful for every year, but this year, especially. Having Carter here with us has increased our joy as we celebrate the holidays. I find myself thinking, "will this be a tradition for our family?" "will Carter enjoy this when he is older?" "will this be something our children will want to do with their children?" It is wonderful to think about!

Nick and I were talking yesterday--we have been together for a little over 11 years, married for 5 this February--and we were chuckling about the first weekend that we hung out together. We laughed at how our life now was not remotely a consideration for us at that point. If you had told us "Eleven years from now, you'll be married, living in Indianapolis and will have just welcomed your first child into the world," we would have never believed it. I think that, now, I can't imagine life any other way...God has truly blessed us and we are thankful!

Out to Dinner

Bundled up and ready to go out to dinner

About a week ago, Nick and I decided to brave it and take Carter out to eat with us for the first time. (sort of weird that we had a babysitter so that we could go out to eat before we took him...no one said we were normal) Of course, we wanted to go somewhere that would be reasonably quick and where it wouldn't matter if the little guy fussed a bit. So...we landed at La Piedad, a Mexican restaurant not too far from our house. Generally, La Piedad is more fun when the weather is warm because it has a nice deck, but it is definitely not known for their atmosphere inside. However, it was a great place for novice parents to experience their first "dinner with child in a car seat." Carter was great. We bundled him up because it was pretty chilly, and he slept most of the time. Had he not behaved, I am not sure anyone in there would have noticed, because there were lots of other kiddos being much louder...Carter didn't mind, he just slept right on through.

We thought Clint,especially, would be proud that Carter's first dinner out was to a Mexican restaurant! He is learning to order-by-number early!

Not that we didn't already know...

...but I saw this on Jennie Marie's blog, and thought I should try it out. Ahhh, the beauty of being at home with one sleeping child. I have a feeling there will be less time for look-alike meters when I actually go back to work (the week after Thanksgiving, booooo!).

Big Week!

Hanging out with Dad (watching something manly on TV, like Monday Night Football or Friends--just kidding)

Playing with my elephant rattle and the play gym

After getting off to a somewhat rocky start this week, what with Dontrelle's root canal and the balsamic vinegar incident, we have had a pretty fun week. Carter is becoming more alert all the time, and we are enjoying watching him learn and play. He started reaching for his rattle and really kicking around and reaching while on his play gym, too. He is all smiles these days, and it is so much fun for me! I am so glad that I get to enjoy this for a little bit before going back to work.

We made a few outings this week as well, but by far the most exciting one was to the new Dunkin' Donuts at 86th and Ditch! The Willis family loves DD coffee (and the donuts are good too!), so we are pretty excited that we don't have to drive up to Carmel to get it anymore! Now, if they could just put one in Broad Ripple, we'd be set!

Mama said there'd be days like this...

Yesterday was quite the day at the Willis house...

The day started with my taking Dontrelle to the vet before 7:00am (before I woke up Carter) for a root canal--and, yes, you read that correctly. When I got home from dropping him off at roughly 7:15am, Carter was upstairs crying and Nick was in the basement so he didn't hear him. After a morning nap and a trip to the grocery store, Nick met us at home for lunch. While pulling chips out of the pantry, I knocked a bottle of balsamic vinegar off the shelf on to the floor. It consequently broke into many shards and teeny pieces of glass and sent balsamic vinegar all over the kitchen floor, walls, etc. Meanwhile, the TruGreen man is knocking at the front door, asking us to bring Wrigley inside so that he can treat the backyard. So, since there is glass all over the floor (not to mention the vinegar), Nick (in his suit) picks Wrigley up and we close her in the bathroom so she won't prance all over the glass.

Okay, so fast forward to about 5:00pm. I went back to the vet to pick up Dontrelle, whose root canal went very well. However, for whatever reason (numbness, anesthesia, etc), he was salivating like crazy. So, over the course of the evening, he deposited pools of saliva all over our upstairs for me to clean. Not to mention that Nick and I had to give him a pill and some liquid antibiotic (FYI, giving medicine to cats is darn near impossible). In addition to ALL of that, we have to feed him moist food, which Wrigley could smell and decided--as we were going to sleep--to stand at the top of the stairs and whine to tell us how much she wanted some of it. Ultimately, we all crashed!

I have to admit, I am hoping today is much more low key! I am sure many more of these days await once I go back to work!